Hát, megint egy agyament 2004-es mozin alapuló "feldolgozás". Nem olyan jó, mint a 'Poto in 15 mins", de ha egy jót akarsz nevetni, érdemes elolvasni. Márha tudsz angolul:)

Phantom of the Opera in 5 minutes


1919, cracked up dirty old Opera House
Mme.GIRY: gimme da ugly monkey!
RAOUL: yo babe, I wanne have da ugly monkey too!
Mme.GIRY: okidoki
AUCTIONEER-GUY: ooooooh, look at da spooky chandelier of dooooom!


Hannibal rehearsals
LEFEVRE: yo dude’s, here’s new managers. Have fun, nice day, bye.
ANDRE/FIRMIN (in double-speaking): whoa, check out da babes!
RAOUL: check out meeee!
DANCING BABES: squeeeee!
CARLOTTA: I’m da pimp. Me won’t sing. Get my funky doggie.
ANDER/FIRMIN (in double-speaking): F*ck
Mme.GIRY: check out da neat dancing girl there


Performance from Hannibal
CHRISTINE: whiiiii, me da star! * reaching out high fevered C *
RAOUL: she kicks ass!
PHANTOM: bummer, shitty fop is in my box.

MEG: woooooow, Christine, that rocks!
CHRISTINE: yeah men, there was an angel, ya know
MEG: woooow, angels are cool! Neat men!


Dressing room
RAOUL: yo babe!
CHRISTINE: *squee!*
RAOUL: come one, get da sexy outfit on

PHANTOM: raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Get tha shitty hands from my babe!
CHRISTINE: yo, angel! Come on, show me tha face.
PHANTOM: tha mirror, babe, me there!
CHRISTINE: cooooool!

RAOUL: what the f*ck?!

We skipp some further, because the conversation between Christine and the Phantom goes something with “yaaaeeeh”
“sing babe”
“more yaaaeeeh”
And I’m too lazy to type that out.


Phantom’s lair
PHANTOM: check my funky bat-cave!
CHRISTINE: * is looking, mouth in ‘ooooh-‘shape *
PHANTOM: look, waterproof candles!
CHRISTINE: * is looking some more, mouth still in the same shape *
PHANTOM: check out tha life-sized Christine voodoo-doll!
CHRISTINE: * faints *
PHANTOM: oh, F*ck


Dressing room
MEG: oeh, neat, moving mirror, hidden passage, cooool!
RAT: squee! Squee!
MEG: AAAAAAAAAAAHRGH!


Dancing-dressing-room or whatever
BUQUET: whooaaaaoooorgh!
DANCING GIRLS: ooooeeeeh!
Mme.GIRY: shut da f*ck up!


Phantoms lair
CHRISTINE: ‘morning
PHANTOM: yo babe
CHRISTINE: ahw. Whatta nice little mask. How do ya keep it there, with glue? Lemme see…
PHANTOM: nooooo, you trampslut!
CHRISTINE: wow dude, the giant sunburn of doom!
PHANTOM: yeah, whatever. Come on, lets get outta here.


Opera-foyer
ANDRE/FIRMIN(in double-speaking): dammit, no cast! But ahw, publicity, yay!
RAOUL: what about this freakin’ notes
CARLOTTA: ey, check out my note
ANDRE/FIRMIN(in double-speaking): yo men, Carlotta’s back! Show must go on!
CARLOTTA: no way!
ANDRE/FIRMIN(in double-speaking): oh yes you do!
CARLOTTA: no, I don’t
ANDRE/FIRMIN(in double-speaking): oh, yes you do!
CARLOTTA: oh ok, you win.


Il muto
CARLOTTA: oh, I’m da pimp, me da star! Groovy!
PHANTOM: shut tha f*ck up, Bitch!
CARLOTTA: crooooaaak! ….oeps.
PHANTOM: * maniacal evil madman laughter *
ANDRE/FIRMIN(in double-speaking): get on tha funny sheeps!
SHEEPS: beeheehee
BUQUET: ey mister ghost! Come on and get me!
PHANTOM: HARRRRRRRRRR! See my evil magical lasso of dooooooom!
BUQUET: AAAAAAAHRGHL
AUDIENCE: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
ANDRE/FIRMIN(in double-speaking): everybody panic


Opera-roof
CHRISTINE: oh men, dude, it was weird! Me saw tha Phantom’s giant sunburn of doom!
RAOUL: yeah, sure babe, whatever. Hey, be my hooky, I have tha lots of bling-bling, ya know
CHRISTINE: oh, yeah sure, why not. Grrrroovy baby!
RAOUL: ahw, look at tha pretty snowflakes!

PHANTOM: WHOOOAAA! DOOOOOM! ……. Eh…oh, shit, damn, it’s high up here.


Masquerade
And there was much rejoycing. Yeeeeeeeeeej.
And there was some more rejoycing. And more yeeeeeeeeeej.

PHANTOM: waaaah! They’re all in gold and white, this red suit is so out of dress-code! But hey, I’m still kinky anyway!
ANDRE/FIRMIN(in double-speaking): whoa, the cool sexy red guy gotta present for us, yay!
RAOUL: oh, he’s soooo sexy in that red suit…damn, gotta find a toilet, quick…I need to change my shorts
PHANTOM: yo Christine, what about my red suit eh? I’m waaaay more sexy than the shitty fop-dude
CHRISTINE: check out my new bling-bling wedding-ring, hidden between my boobs.
PHANTOM: * stares at boobs * ooooh, neat! Gimme da ring!



Mme.Giry’s dressingroom
RAOUL: ey, whatta bout tha Phantom. Me wanna bedtime story!
Mme.GIRY: ohw yeah, sure. Was at a traveling fair. Gipsy’s and all stuff. Neat men! Was some killing too. Brought the killer here. Like anyone would do, o’course. Sorry, my fault.
RAOUL: oh right, cool!
(that doesn't make much sense, but I don't like this scene anyway. But this whole writing doesn't make much sense, so whatever)


Opera stable
CHRISTINE: to tha daddy’s grave.
PHANTOM: harrrrrr!
RAOUL: (insert random slanging match here)
CHRISTINE: my boobs are freezing.
PHANTOM: It’s warm in here. Come on babe, let’s rock!
CHRISTINE: daddy!!!!!
RAOUL: waaaaaah! (insert some more random slanging match here)
PHANTOM: harrrrrr! Come on and get me!
Some confusing fight goes on with lot’s of “harrrrrs” and lot’s of random slanging match.
RAOUL: ey…I can stab you now….
CHRISTINE: that would end the movie
RAOUL: oh yeah. Damn. Ok, bye bye, have a nice day.
PHANTOM: harrrrr, darling foppy!

Somewhere in the Opera, with all the staff and every one ever involved with the theatre around, so that no-one whill here Raoul’s secret masterplan
RAOUL (shouting): eya, me got tha briljant secret masterplan!
ANDRE/FIRMIN (in double-speaking): oeh, neat!


In gothic chapel
CHRISTINE: * cries*
RAOUL: come on, you gonna be my ho!
CHRISTINE: me gonna be da phantom’s ho! * cries some more *…ey…waita minute…that aint so bad…


Don Juan Triumphant performance
PIANGI: whohahahaha….. ehr….oh shit. * rattle *
PHANTOM: eya trampslut!
CHRISTINE: oh shit. Daaaamn, he’s hot. * tears mask away *
AUDIENCE: oooooeeeeeh, the giant sunburn of dooooom!
CHANDELIER: CRAAAAAAAAAAASH

Phantom's lair
PHANTOM: you trampslut! Now you will neeeeeever leave my dark cavern of doom ever again!
CHRISTINE: ey, now me can finally wear tha funky wedding dress for no reason at all
RAOUL: nooooooo! Don’t wear tha funky wedding dress!
PHANTOM: ey, neat! Never had so much visit before! Groovy, darling foppy!
CHRISTINE: ey Raoul, check out this awasome cavern!
PHANTOM: Now babe, say who’s most sexy.
CHRISTINE: aw, Phantom…yoooouuuu! *kisssssss *
PHANTOM: no thanx, me rather remain a bachelor. Now, shut tha f*** up!
CHRISTINE: damn
RAOUL: yay!
CHRISTINE: but ey, here's my cool bling-bling ring. wanna have?
MONKEY BOX: *cling cling*

MEG: ey, sexy phantom, wheeeeere aaaare yoooouuuu?